Jesus Pahhty.

How I Cured My Anxiety

Thu, 23 May 2013 11:23:14 -0700

http://charliehoehn.com/2013/05/19/how-i-cured-my-anxiety/

—-

For a long time, I thought I was going crazy. I’d convinced myself that something horribly wrong was about to happen. I thought I would be stabbed, shot, or arrested every time I left my apartment. I was sure that there was an impending disaster that would melt the social contract and pit my neighbors against me. I saw criminals and undercover cops everywhere I went. All that “world is coming to an end” talk — I bought into it.

Every moment was exhausting. I dreaded being around more than one person at a time. I eyed everyone like they were judging me, pitying me, or attempting to manipulate me. My attention was divided in every interaction: one half of me would pretend to be normal, while the other half would be trying to keep it together.

I could feel various parts of my face twitching, like I was about to crack. My hands shook constantly. It got so bad that when a friend came to visit me, I couldn’t drink a glass of water because it kept spilling just from me holding it.

I tried to behave like nothing was wrong, when all I wanted to do was lock myself in a room and curl up in a ball. If someone had tapped me in the chest, my body would have shattered. If someone had ordered me to cry, my face would have flooded. I felt fragile, weak, and hollow.

I was ashamed. I didn’t want to be around anyone – not because I stopped liking people, but because I didn’t want them to catch my weird energy. I wearily watched my girlfriend cry when I confided that I felt dead inside, all the time, and I didn’t know how to fix it.

I laid on the ground for 20 minutes one night, wondering whether I should call an ambulance. My heart was beating so hard and fast that I could actually hear it, and my left hand was going numb. My first panic attack.

…

My anxiety lasted for more than a year. It affected how I breathed, how I thought, how I ate, how I slept, and how I talked. I was serious and tired and afraid, all the time. I wanted so badly to return to my normal, lively, care-free, confident self. But I didn’t know how to shake it.

I tried everything to fix myself: meditation, yoga, high-intensity workouts, long runs, therapy, therapy books, keeping a journal, super clean diets, extended fasting, drugs, deep breathing exercises, prayer, etc. I even took a six-week course, made specifically for men who wanted to overcome anxiety. A few of these things helped, a lot of them didn’t. Some of them made things worse.

Then one day, I discovered the cure. When my mind processed it and recognized it was the solution, I started laughing. The answer had been so obvious all along.

In less than one month, I was back to my old self. The cure for my anxiety was free, fun, painless, and immediately effective. I have no fear that those feelings will ever return. If they do, I’ll be able to wipe them out right away.

I hope this post can help you eliminate your anxiety once and for all. It’s not nearly as hard as you think.

…

“Adults are just obsolete children.” – Dr. Seuss

Have you ever witnessed a little kid working out on a treadmill?

Or meeting up with a friend to chat over coffee?

Or wearing a suit and making cold-calls?

Or attending a networking conference to hand out their business cards?

HELL NO. That stuff is lame and boring. If you saw a kid doing any of those things, you would laugh and wonder what the hell was wrong with them.

Kids don’t run to get in shape; they run to feel the grass beneath their feet and the wind on their face.

Kids don’t have a chat over coffee; they pretend and make jokes and explore the outdoors.

Kids don’t go to work; they play their favorite games.

Kids don’t network; they bond with other fun kids while playing.

There is no ego. There is no guilt. There is no past to regret, and no future to worry about. They just play.

And that’s what I’d forgotten, what I’d been missing, all along.

…

Giving myself permission to PLAY was the cure for my anxiety. It was a subtle but powerful shift in how I viewed the world.

For two years, I had unknowingly prevented myself from playing. I am a workaholic, which can be pretty horrible when you work alone. No one tells you to stop or take a break, or that you’re burning yourself out. I’d find myself tethered to the internet all day, sitting in a chair for 10 hours and staring at a bright screen. Even when I was “finished,” I’d impulsively check email several times between midnight and 2 a.m. I know it’s dumb and unnecessary and “What could be so important?” and “You need your sleep,” but I did it anyways. I was oblivious to the fact that my nerves were being frayed for hours on end, and that I desperately needed fun face-to-face time with real human beings.

What made matters worse were the idiotic rituals I’d fallen into. Drinking coffee all day, then drinking alcohol with friends on the weekend. I didn’t get outside, I didn’t move enough, I didn’t sleep enough. My weeks were a cycle of over-stimulation and numbing.

I read Play: How it Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul. The message of the book hit me like a brick wall – it explained what I’d been doing wrong this whole time. I had completely deprived myself of play for nearly two years! Even when I had been “playing” (doing fun activities with friends), I would still feel guilty or self-conscious. My mind was elsewhere: what I’d done wrong in the past, how I was compromising my future, and how I was wasting the present. I was so critical of how I was living my life that I couldn’t be in the moment.

Getting out of that mentality saved me. I remembered how happy I’d been growing up, even just years before, and I knew why I’d been that way: I’d always allowed myself to play.

Continue Reading at:
http://charliehoehn.com/2013/05/19/how-i-cured-my-anxiety/

" I’ve noticed something about people who make a difference in the world: They hold the unshakable..."

Thu, 23 May 2013 11:20:14 -0700

““ I’ve noticed something about people who make a difference in the world: They hold the unshakable conviction that individuals are extremely important, that every life matters. They get excited over one smile. They are willing to feed one stomach, educate one mind, and treat one wound. They aren’t determined to revolutionize the world all at once; they’re satisfied with small changes. Over time, though, the small changes add up. Sometimes they even transform cities and nations, and yes, the world. ””

- (via soomin)

It’s possible to have your heart changed and mind renewed to the point where you aren’t...

Wed, 22 May 2013 19:07:00 -0700

It’s possible to have your heart changed and mind renewed to the point where you aren’t tempted…. by anything.

Sheep, Wolf, and Shepherd

Tue, 21 May 2013 22:38:25 -0700

hammereddrunkwithfaith:

thepoorinspirit-writings:

There was a young sheep who loved her herd. She was born and grew up in this small, tight-knit community.

One day, she was out for a walk by herself when she found an injured wolf, alone and crying. She stayed and watched over the wolf and gave him some food. However, a few of the sheep came by and reprimanded her:
“Wolves are ravenous beasts!”
She refused to give up on the wolf, and decided to take care of him and find his family. Her family of sheep abandoned her.

A wandering shepherd found her and the wolf a few days after the incident. The shepherd quickly attended to the wolf. He then told the sheep, “Thank you for taking care of this wolf. He’s an old friend.”

He picked up the wolf, put him across his shoulders and said,
“Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.”

This is beautiful.

all those people who think god causes storms, famines, destruction, rape, and all that stuff...

Tue, 21 May 2013 21:00:00 -0700

need to take one step back, imagine yourself as a parent with a 5 year old daughter.

I don’t think there’s a single person that cares for their child would ever willing want and inflict pain/injury to their child just to “teach them a lesson.”

That’s the kind of stuff that gets you reported to CPS (child PROTECTIVE SERVICES).

Why?

Cause it’s abuse.

Anyone that insists that “god” causes storms, famines, destruction, rape etc etc doesn’t know the Father as well as they think.

I repeat.

If you think that “god” intentionally causes/inflicts injury on the people He sees as His own CHILDREN, you do NOT know Him or His heart.

If we “being evil, know how to give GOOD GIFTS to [our] children, how much more will [our] Father”?

Jesus came to destroy what people believed to be an angry and distant god that came with fire and brimstone upon those who were theologically opposed to him or “sinned” on a regular basis.

Jesus said, “When you pray, say, ‘Abba, Father’.”

That was a revolutionary statement.

He painted a picture of a Father pursuing the one sheep/coin that was lost. The Father that forgave a son that ran away and welcomed him back with open arms.

He demonstrated it by forgiving the woman caught in adultery.

He demonstrated it by forgiving the people who crucified Him.

He demonstrated the Father PERFECTLY (John 14:9, Hebrews 1:1-3)

I challenge to believe that God is actually a good Father, and I challenge you to see it in the life that Jesus lived.

"And this is eternal life, that they may know You" (John 17:3)

Tue, 21 May 2013 11:34:00 -0700

NOT:

“And this is eternal life, that they may walk in holiness and free from sin”

“And this is eternal life, that they may walk in the gifts”

“And this is eternal life, that they may know and live out the beatitudes”

“And this is eternal life, that they may read the bible everyday and pray”

“And this is eternal life, that they may go to every church meeting”

“And this is eternal life, that they may be baptized in the Holy Spirit”

“And this is eternal life, that they may be a missionary to nations”

“And this is eternal life, that they may heal the sick and cast out demons”

—-

But I will say this. If you actually just get to know who your Father is and who He says you are, you will live out that list without ever trying to pursue it or striving for it.

"If we think we can argue or talk people into knowing this Man, we’re deceived. Let’s lead them into..."

Mon, 20 May 2013 21:14:26 -0700

“

If we think we can argue or talk people into knowing this Man, we’re deceived.

Let’s lead them into an encounter with a tangible Person.

The world isn’t the problem. A lifeless Christianity has already filled that role.

”

- Joel Adifon

"You don’t owe me anything. I don’t expect anything in return, I just want you to know..."

Mon, 20 May 2013 03:50:10 -0700

“You don’t owe me anything. I don’t expect anything in return, I just want you to know that I care for your well being, I want you at your best.”

- Love

"I accept you, you can be yourself. Even if you fail, I am still for you, I’m never disappointed,..."

Sun, 19 May 2013 11:33:51 -0700

“I accept you, you can be yourself. Even if you fail, I am still for you, I’m never disappointed, I’ll help you get up. I’ll never betray you, I’ll nurture your dreams, I’ll help you grow, I want the best for you, I am here, always”

- Love

If it offends you when people cuss, I question how many relationships you actually have with other nonbelievers.

Fri, 17 May 2013 19:27:00 -0700

and thus, I seriously question whether other nonbelievers are actually being influenced by what you believe.

If you have a problem when you hear cuss words or when people have messy lifestyles, then you’re not understanding how Grace came to the broken and beaten to give them hope, extend a helping hand, and give them the peace they are all looking for (that’s how He found you, remember?).

And by not understanding that, it’s affecting how you relate to those around you, especially nonbelievers…

About a week ago, I was lounging with some friends who spend a lot of time drinking, messing around with women (even though they were already in relationships), drop “shit” and “fuck that” every other sentence.

The “churched” part of me felt like I didn’t belong, that I was out of place, that I need to get out of there and “have no fellowship with darkness”, but the love I learned from my Dad told me I was perfectly in the right place.

It’s only when you befriend ‘sinners’ they can actually see your life, how you live it and then ask questions. That doesn’t happen with strangers.

Oh yeah. Isn’t that what Jesus was called? Friend of sinners?

Oh yeah, was there something about imitating Him? Being sons and daughters? Ambassadors… that’s it.

Let’s grow up into maturity, figure out who we are, where we belong, so we can be unphased when walk into the darkness and shine.

The world is dying and waiting for rivers of living water to come to them.

That’s you.

Depression shouldn't be treated like a medical condition.

Thu, 16 May 2013 13:53:00 -0700

(rant)

Depression is a byproduct of not knowing what drives you and what you are passionate about.

By implication, if you don’t know what drives you, everything feels aimless and pointless.

If you don’t know what you are passionate about, there is no excitement or spark or anything that makes you truly come alive.

Trying to treat depression and treating it like a condition or labeling it as something that can be “chronic” is like giving someone a pill because they’re inside a dark room, afraid of the dark, and can’t find the light switch.

I don’t care if you are scared of the dark, that’s not uncommon, but why be passive about it and feel like a victim of the dark? Why sit there with other friends also afraid of the dark and have a pity party?

You know what the solution is? Spend your energy figuring out where that light switch is and never turn the lights off.

I don’t struggle with depression because that light switch I turned on a few years ago, I’ve never turned it off. Why would I?

Why should you?

The darkness doesn’t leave when you cry, should, try to fight it off, or beg for it to leave you alone. Just turn the freakin light on and it pisses off. Easy.

(end rant)

//edit

I wrote this with an analogy. There are many many levels of this analogy. Please don’t read this at face value, because if you do, it will sound like, “hey! just get out of depression deerp!”. But If you read the analogy and understand the multiple layers of it, it’s actually helpful.

If you get too offended by the method, you will miss the heart. Sorry if you are offended by this post.

"You’re under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago."

Thu, 16 May 2013 09:58:39 -0700

“You’re under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.”

- Grow every second (via favoredgrace)

Contrary to common church teaching

Mon, 13 May 2013 21:13:12 -0700

It’s actually possible to walk through the darkest places where ‘evil’ thrives and shine brightly, come out unphased, untainted, and untouched by its influence.

All creation is waiting for the revealing of the sons who are not intimidated by darkness and run toward it willingly, knowing Who is with them — not to prove a point, but to give hope to the hopeless, and rescue the lost who wander aimlessly in the dark waiting for a light to show them the Way.

How do you stop self-harming?

Sat, 11 May 2013 16:33:00 -0700

Self-harming is just another method of coping. Some people watch TV/Movies, some people game, some people smoke, some people get high, some people drink.

Those coping methods are just ways to avoid the actually problem instead of facing it. When there is an uncomfortable truth or reality in your life, a lot of times, it feels easier to escape/run from it rather than dealing with it.

It makes no sense if you think about it, you end up just avoiding it for years and years, never getting any better, and you face an emotional turmoil every single time it pops up. If you just face it and deal with it, ask God to show you the lies you’re believing about yourself, the situation, or another person, the truth will set you free.

It’s not a cliche, it works.

Knowing and understanding the way God knows and understands doesn’t create more mystery, it’s revelation. It should empower you to victory, not keep you in bondage.

The past is an Achilles Heel for many believers. The solution is just to never face your past without your Dad with you, helping you clear up your perspective about it. Your perspective of the past is colored with lies, emotions, misunderstandings, etc etc, and He can cut through all the BS and show you how to get free from it.

Trying to “stop” self-harming, like cleaning up other addictions is like cleaning the outside of the cup. It’s a surface level issue that is solved by dealing with the inside, root issue.

How to practice God's presence to the point when you can't imagine being without Him for one second? Up to this point I've been always forgetting about it and then after some time realizing that He's with me. How to make it a habit when it's continual? Thanks!

Sat, 11 May 2013 16:23:53 -0700

I don’t think about it in terms of “practicing the presence.” I think about “how often do friends hang out?”

The only time you forget about friends are when they weren’t very good friends to begin with. You never forget your closest friends.

You don’t “build a habit” to hang out with friends more, you just get to know them, and the closer you get, the more you hang out to the point where people say, “You two are inseparable.”

You’ll miss it if you try to ‘practice the presence,” just get to know Him as you would get to know a friend.

LIONHEART: Keeping My Eyes on Ben

Fri, 10 May 2013 11:46:12 -0700

LIONHEART: Keeping My Eyes on Ben:

salempeters:

I second shoot periodically with a friend of mine who is a photographer named Ben. Every now and then when he needs help shooting a wedding, he will hire me to second shoot and assist him with anything and everything he needs. Whether it’s to keep him on schedule, get people who are next for a…

Read.

+ Drunk With Faith +: DON'T FORSAKE THE ASSEMBLY, BROTHER. GO TO CHURCH >:o

Fri, 10 May 2013 10:33:00 -0700

+ Drunk With Faith +: DON'T FORSAKE THE ASSEMBLY, BROTHER. GO TO CHURCH >:o:

hammereddrunkwithfaith:

Many people who criticize those of us who have decided not to attend a conventional institutional ‘church’ do so often based on strawmen.

“Well, brother. You gotta have community.”

“Brother, you need accountability.”

“Brother, you can’t do this on your own.”

Yeah, well no shit.

Trust…

—-

My mom tells me this stuff almost every time I go over to her place or get dinner with her.

These are some things I usually say:

Mom, “fellowship” and “community” rarely happen at most churches… I find more fellowship and community by intentionally spending time with other believers throughout the week.

Mom, I bet you I spend more personal time with pastors/leaders than 90% of people who go to church. I meet with 3 different pastors of different churches on a regular basis to fellowship. And.. no one told me to start meeting with them, I just valued being connected to them.

Mom, just because I’m not going to a weekly Sunday morning church (which I haven’t for the past 4 years) doesn’t mean that I’m “backslidden” or “falling away.”

See we have been cultured to believe that a strong spiritual walk is IMPOSSIBLE outside of the 4 walls of church. That’s complete BS.

But it is true, a healthy and strong spiritual walk that is devoid of consistent relationship/fellowship with other believers is near impossible.

Why? Because growing spiritually is almost synonymous with valuing the relationships around you. The byproduct of spiritual growth should be LOVE, and you will naturally pursue relationships because love will drive you continually meet with those around you.

If you think you are spiritual, but don’t have many strong/healthy relationships with people (believers or nonbelievers), then you are deceiving yourself. Jesus was the most spiritual person, and yet he was the most relatable.

Some thoughts on relationships (OMGOMG)

Thu, 09 May 2013 22:06:04 -0700

These conclusions are based on years of observation of failed relationships:

You are not ready for a relationship if you typically step into them purely based on emotions
You are not ready for a relationship if you have not learned to take care of yourself. (You cannot effectively care for another if you aren’t taken care of.)
You are not ready for a relationship if you don’t know who you are, what you stand for, and what you want.
More specifically, you are not ready for a relationship if you aren’t sure why you want to be in a relationship — in other words, what is the purpose?
You are not ready for a relationship if you’ve spent more time looking for relationships than you’ve spent growing and maturing yourself.
You are not ready for a relationship if you are more interested in what you can get out of one rather than what you can give in one.

"you tell me that the church is a building, with deacons and a preacher, you tell me that this..."

Thu, 09 May 2013 09:28:51 -0700

“

you tell me that the church is a building,
with deacons and a preacher,
you tell me that this building is made up of wood and cement and insulation in the walls,
with paint and pictures hanging on the halls
you tell me that the church meets on wednesdays and sundays
and that it takes up communion the first service every month
you tell me that the church is opening up the bible
and memorizing the scriptures and singing a few hymns

but those places have always felt too cold for me,
too worn out,
and my heart has always felt too out of place with the structure
that forgets the broken

the church I have seen is in the hearts of the broken, the abandoned, the ones forgotten in the back of the classrooms
and coat closets,
the church I have seen is the home to the believers and unbelievers alike, and the doors are open on more days than just two,
it’s made of broken limbs and broken hearts,
shattered windows and shattered dreams
it’s made of tears and lost memories
it’s made of every forgotten promise and the weight of the burdens we’ve carried since before we can remember
the church I have seen doesn’t just meet on certain days,
but it meets in our brokenness
in the hospital room of the drug addict that just overdosed
in the car accident of the drunk driver
in the delivery room of the prostitute who doesn’t know whose child she is holding
in the arms of the teenager who has never known his parents
in the broken heart of the woman who just lost her husband to leukemia
and it doesn’t just take communion once
but everyday
by loving
and living like Jesus was actually someone who placed his feet on this earth
instead of just walking out the door after drinking the grape juice and stale cracker,
and hitting their kid

the church is more than just the structure
but chaos that loves in all it does
the church doesn’t abandon
doesn’t hate
doesn’t boast
doesn’t create boundaries
doesn’t forget
and it doesn’t leave behind those we don’t understand

the church should love in all it does

”

- where did we go wrong? (via amandaspoetry)

The Father's Heart

Tue, 07 May 2013 01:41:00 -0700

I will give, serve, build up, lift up, encourage, and strengthen you no matter what.

There is nothing you can do to make me stop, or do it less, or do it more, because I do it because it’s who I am, not because you’ve given me a reason to.

You can push me away, try to hurt me, or resist me, but I will never push you away, hurt you back, disown you, I will never leave you, I will always be for you.

I will never go behind your back, I will never betray you, I will never punish you, I will treat you better than you think you deserve.

I will never assume the worst about you, I will never react out of offense, I will always believe the best in you.

I will never beat you when you’re down, I will stay on board when everyone else jumps ship.

I will never require anything of you, I will never need you to perform, I will never hold you to any standard, I will never hold you to your past, and you can never let me down. You are my child.

I will always be proud of you, I will always remind you who you truly are and who you are becoming. I will encourage you and support you, I will always have your best interest in mind.

Never settle, never sell yourself short, I believe in you.

This will never change.

- Dad